If it doesn't make sense, please tell me but don't be rude please. Also, how could I improve it? (I'm 11 years old)
Whilst boats cruise slowly along the river Thames, suddenly the London Eye lights up as though it is a blue firework. Leisurely, the magnificent wheel turns and those inside the pods are speechless at the sight of London from above. The Eye brightens up the dreary and clouded night sky as though it is a firefly. Eventually, the night comes to an end and the first rays of morning sunlight tiptoe across the streets of London – meanwhile the lights of the London Eye disappear and unfortunately hundreds of people cannot see what magic it holds only when night falls.
By the way, it's supposed to be about the London Eye so if you think I go oof track, please tell me. Thanks!
Wow, You write so much better than when I was eleven. This whole paragraph seems pretty well written, honestly.Maybe add more description to what the boats/scenery looked like a little bit more. Use the 5 senses . I don't think you put in touch
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